


We should speak.

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Established Relationship, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-28
Updated: 2011-04-28
Packaged: 2018-09-03 07:42:57
Rating: Teen & Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8703571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Short story, written directly onto here, no microsoft word available to me right now.  All mistakes are mine and I apologise, this was written at great speed.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** Short story about J &J and how they almost lost each other...

Rain poured down relentlessly the heavy drops cascading down the window, Jared sat behind the wheel of his vehicle contemplating the events of the last hour. He was sat in his car as he had been for almost half an hour outside of Jensen's house. He hadn't moved much and stared into space hardly noticing the impending thunderstorm which would be raging in he next hour.

 

Finally he started his car and drove away the automatic window screen wipers moving the fast flowing water from the screen. He drove almost in a trance hardly taking in his surroundings as he neared his journey's end pulling up on his driveway only a short while after leaving Jensen's. The storm was in full fury now and he didn't even flinch when the thunder rumbled overhead.

 

The arguement had started off from nothing and was really about nothing in particular, to Jared it seemed Jensen wanted nothing more than to pick a fight. Jared had been in no mood to comply and had finally given up, grabbing his keys he had left the house and dashed across the road to sit in his car.

 

With a heavy heart Jared let himself into his house, small by Californian standards but it suited him perfectly; plenty of space for him and his dogs not particularly much room for anyone else. For a while now there hadn't been any significant person in his life and it suited him. His life style was no different from Jensen's they both lived separately keeping up that facade of just being "friends". Jared had been perfectly happy with the arrangement until today when he had simply asked if Jensen was ready for commitment.

 

Jensen's reaction hadn't exactly been what Jared had expected, okay so he'd half thought Jensen may be a little guarded but to blow up like he did took Jared by surprise. Jensen had said that it was all Jared kept saying pushing him into a full on relationship when he knew damn well he (Jensen) wasn't ready for that yet. How much patience did Jared really have for all this, well the truth be known he had none and was really beginning to think that perhaps this "friendship" was nothing more than a crutch for Jensen and his failed last relationship. Almost as a safeguard for loneliness.

 

Jared found himself in front of his refridgerator not really interested in the contents he rummaged around and found a solitary beer at the back. Caring little whether it was in date he opened it and took a long drink letting the cold liquid hit the back of his throat, it was comforting to say the least. Suddenly aware that he was standing in very damp clothing he padded off to his room to change, once changed he parked himself in front of the television and although the pictures bounced back at him he took little notice of what was happening.

 

How dare Jensen say he was always pushing for a relationship, there was no way at all that Jared was always "going on and on like a broken record". That had hardly been fair to say the least, Jared felt his anger bubbling over as he recollected how angry Jensen was. He mulled it all over and over in his head and decided once and for all he was better off living on his own with his dogs, okay one day he may find someone he felt worthy of trusting but until that day he was definitely staying single.

 

Bored with the TV, and with a slight head ache he slipped from the living room into his bedroom and fell asleep on the bed still in the clothes he had changed into.

 

Jensen meanwhile was pacing his flat, not really sure why he had exploded so viciously at Jared. It wasn't Jared's fault he couldn't understand how Jensen felt about this relationship, if you could call it that. It was hardly a loving connection, there was very little or no sex at all, and to be fair Jared seemed okay with that. Well he seemed to be until a few weeks previously.

 

Jensen was basicially scared as hell to commit, didn't want to share his existence with anyone he'd done that once and it hadn't been an experience he wanted to duplicate. Trouble was Jared wasn't that other person, yes he was loving and caring and kind and all the other things someone looks for in a partner, but he was a little possessive at times. Jensen did not want to be possessed by anyone or anything and right now, or to be precise right at that moment in time Jared had caught Jensen at a really bad time.

 

It was coming up to the anniversary of his last relationshop breakdown, the one where he almost lost it big time. To look at him you would never have guessed he was going through so much turmoil, but inside Jensen was nothing more than a scared boy. He'd fled to his family not wishing to burden Jared with is problems, which had annoyed Jared endlessly. Trouble was Jared was not psychic and couldn't guess what was wrong with Jensen, and Jensen had been reluctant to discuss his having counselling and was on anti-depressants. Jensen was after all only human.

 

That has almost been the end of things, but Jensen had managed to pull himself together at least on the outside whilst he quietly repaired himself on the inside.

 

Now Jensen felt he was being put under pressure again to conform to what Jared wanted, it was always about what Jared wanted wasn't it. He wanted to go one step further with their relationship, wanted them to move in together which would have given the gossips a field day in the tabloids. Wanted everying any "normal" couple had, except Jensen had only just begun to trust and like himself again and realise he was capable of finding love once more in this cruel world.

 

He had a directing job lined up in the New Year and was looking forward to working again, so all in all his professional life was on the up. So why in hell was his private life a complete mess. Deep down Jensen knew he was being just a little selfish; Jared had been nothing but patient, very considerate even if he did harp on about what was troubling Jensen a great deal of the time.

 

His mobile buzzed at him on the work surface and he grabbed it quickly hoping it was Jared, it wasn't it was Christian just letting him know he'd be in LA the following week. Like Jensen could forget that, perhaps Chris would be able to give him some advice, okay so perhaps not. Christian's advice would have been simple along the lines of - do you love him - yes - well go get him you idiot. 

 

Taking a deep long breath Jensen did exactly what Christian would have suggested and sent Jared a text, a telephone call simply wouldn't have been answered and Jensen didn't trust his ability to coherently speak right then. The text simply said "I'm sorry", he hit the send button and went to bed.

 

Jared woke up the following morning with cramp in his foot and an aching head, perhaps that beer from the fridge hadn't been that good after all. Hobbling around the bedroom and into the bathroom he showered and dressed, greeting the dogs as he got to the bottom of the stairs. He let his two friends out into the garden and set about putting on some coffee and getting the newspaper from the mail box. Only when he was sitting down did he pick up his mobile and out of habit check his messages. He was surprised to see Jensen's simple message but it spurred him first to want to ignore it and not answer then on contemplating the situation, he decided to send a message back.

 

Jared really wanted to put something sarcastic and evil in the text but his better nature got the upper hand and he simply sent a text message back saying "I know, me too."

 

Jared waited a while and was rewarded with a quick response.

 

"Jay we have to talk there are so many things I need to tell you."

 

"Nothing bad is it?"

 

"No, honestly, all I need is to speak to you and see you again."

 

"Okay, when and where?"

 

"Your house five minutes."

 

Jared was about to text back he'd go over to Jensen's when the door bell rang, still on the phone Jared answered it and got the surprise of his life seeing Jensen there. Jensen gave him a small smile and looked at least 15 years younger when he turned his gaze downward, Jared seriously felt jealous when he could do that without even realising how damn sexy he looked.

 

They sat at the kitchen table for an hour or so, discussing things listening to each other like they always had done, feeling each other's pain and desperation. At the end of it Jared realised how selfish he'd been and felt sorry for that and Jensen realised hiding how he felt and what was happening to him had almost cost him the relationship he desired the most.

 

The dogs were a little baffled when they were kept outside a lot longer than normal, and after amusing themselves with the neighbourhood cat, the large ball at the bottom of the garden and drinking that foul tasting water from the pool they slumped down in the shade and fell asleep. 

 

End


End file.
